Foster Reflections: Okay, God

I trust everyone no one.

If you’ve worked in the system, lived in the system, or survived the system long enough then you’ve learned one very important rule-trust no one.

Unfortunately, the system is set up in such a way that it almost guarantees to make good on this fear sooner rather than later. No matter how optimistic you start out being, eventually you will need a good vodka chaser to swallow that enthusiasm.

People are literally drowning while dying of thirst, yet caregivers, workers, & even churches don’t know whether to throw them a lifeline or give them more to drink.

The system as we know it is designed around a good theory but then given over to complete chaos. This is due to tight budgets, short staff, overwhelmed foster parents, underwhelmed foster children, and no consistent/effective/efficient/competent chiefs running the show (no offense people who I don’t know in government. You’re welcome to prove me wrong at anytime). People are literally drowning while dying of thirst, yet caregivers, workers, & even churches don’t know whether to throw them a lifeline or give them more to drink.

We ARE social creatures designed by God to thrive when connected to others. Both believers and non-believers alike agree on our need for one another. So the system of care designed around connecting us to each other is spot on. However, the way it is carried out where we are either blaming, shaming, or turning inward for self-preservation is the exact opposite of what we need to thrive. What we (as a system) say and what we (as a system) actually do are completely opposite and it’s why we are not successful. God’s plan is not this.

I have been doing this for a decade and I have advocated for children and families and foster care. I’ve also found myself more often than I’d like fighting for OUR family against the system or for training or some lost paperwork or against false accusations or things OUR family needed or because (HOLD THE PHONE) we dared to say we were stressed or someone else messed up paperwork and that became our problem. I’m exhausted. I have fought FOR this system against the backlash for so long and now….now I’m just tired from fighting WITH the system to keep doing what we do. I never wanted to find myself on the side of the argument where I didn’t trust the people I work with, but I find more times than not that argument is proven true.

Today, tonight, and I’m sure for many days to come I am going to be having a conversation with God about where we go from here. There were events that transpired today that prompted a letter to the governor & for me to step back and re-evaluate… but before that ever transpired God placed one thing on my heart,

Rather than asking, “Why God?” Try replying “Okay God .”

Rather than asking, “Why God?” Try replying “Okay God.” It doesn’t mean you are okay with the situation, the sin that may have happened, the evil in the world, or whatever the circumstance may be. “Okay, God” means you’re willing to follow Him, trust Him, and surrender to Him all things when life is good or at it’s very worst.

When I got the very overwhelming/brain-melting/panic attack inducing news today at training I remembered this. I still panicked, but I said “Okay”. Now, I’m going to step back and wait for wisdom and discernment. I don’t like being a person who doesn’t trust others. If I cannot trust those I work with then something has to give… But until then, I’m okay to say “Okay, God”.


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